You’d be better off getting a room at a hotel. Trust me.

So you’re renting a cabin in the woods. First things first, why on earth would you do that? A hotel is so much nicer and much less likely to attacked by the paranormal. But if you and your group of attractive friends are dead set on renting a cabin in the woods there are a few things that you should know before you arrive at your destination.

 

1) Research the area

If the area around your cabin has a history of suspicious deaths or if there is a creepy urban legend, you should probably pass on that particular location. But also on the flip side, if the location and/or area seems too good to be true, it’s almost certainly a trap and you’re all going to die horrible deaths. So if anyone asks you if you want to go to ‘that creepy cabin that’s allegedly haunted by the ghost of some serial killer’, the answer should be a hard no. 

the-cabin-in-the-woods

2) Secure the cabin

When you and your friends arrive at the cabin, your first instinct will be to unpack your bags and settle into the cabin. DO NOT DO THIS. What you should do when you first arrive is to locate all entrances and exits to the cabin and secure them. Use chains, crowbars, boards and nails, anything can find. And definitely make sure that there isn’t a trap door that leads to the world’s creepiest basement. Find this door. It’s probably under a rug, and make sure that nothing can come out or go in. If possible pour concrete on it.

3) Don’t touch anything. Ever. 

When in a new location it’s common to want to touch things that are interesting. This is especially true when you’re in a cabin that is filled to the brim with belongings from the previous tenants. But you need to remember to not open any books that you may find and definitely don’t read from them (either aloud or in your head). Don’t wind up that music box on the mantelpiece and don’t put on any jewelry that you find. Just keep your hands to yourself and you should be alright.

36309cbb67665115265283e71942cf41

4) Come Prepared

Of course you should bring several changes of clothes and your toiletries, but there are loads of stuff that you probably didn’t think to bring that could save your life in the event of a cataclysmic supernatural event. Bring a stupid amount of lights. Flashlights, candles, flood lights, lanterns, etc. Because the power will go out. And when it does inevitably go out, don’t go outside to try to fix the hundred-year-old generator. It isn’t going to work.  You should also bring at least 2 extra sets of car keys because you will lose the one set that you brought with you.

Even though will seem like a good idea to bring weapons, don’t do it. Those weapons will be used against you faster than you can say “zombie redneck torture family”.

6647_4

5) Don’t do anything illegal or morally questionable

I understand that you’re on vacation in a creepy cabin but now is not the time do be doing anything to tempt the fates. Don’t drink alcohol, do drugs, or have sex.  When it comes to your attire wear very conservative clothes for the entire length of the trip. The less skin the better. There are countless supernatural and paranormal monsters that love to pray on sinning adults, and they all want to kill you for your transgressions.

 

So if you can adhere to these simple but necessary rules, you and most of your friends will live to see the end of your cabin in the woods vacation.

Comments

comments

Filed Under:

About The Author

Ashley has always had an undying love for horror movies of all kinds. Even the bad ones. Especially the bad ones. You can find more of her writing at telltalewrite.com