Youtube has changed the whole game.

In 2002, the American remake of the Japanese horror film “Ringu” was released, thrilling and terrifying thousands of viewers.  The remake, now titled “The Ring,” starred Naomi Watts as our protagonist and Daveigh Chase as our creepy, demonic child-villain.  To many of us, the cursed video tape was our first introduction to viral content. Because that’s exactly what it was.  According to the movie, once you watched Samara’s video, you had exactly seven days before you ended up like this girl:

To avoid this grisly fate, the viewer had to make a copy of the videotape and show it to someone else, who would have to repeat this process.  And so the curse lived on.  The rule of survival was that to get rid of your curse, you had to curse someone else.  That sucks.


Demonic injustices aside, let’s focus on the idea that Samara’s curse was, in fact, a viral video.  If the movie took place today, how would it be different?  Before the snark parade comes in to say “It wouldn’t be a problem today, because no one watches VHS tapes anymore,” let’s imagine for a moment that Samara has gone digital.  Terrifying, right? Because now Samara’s video is online, being watched and shared by thousands, maybe millions, of people.

“So what’s the problem?” you may ask.  The problem, kids, is that not everyone is going to share the video.  A decent chunk of the population would watch the video, read the instructions to pass it along, and assume it was a prank.  They would ignore the instructions that would save their lives and resume their day-to-day business until the day an evil, waterlogged girl in desperate need of a haircut crawls through their TV (or computer screen or iPad. Whatever.) and kills them in whatever way Samara kills her victims.

Since viral content is all the rage these days, the video would be picked up by every major news site and channel.  MSNBC would play the video on repeat until The Rachel Maddow Show came on.  Fox News would play it and use it as an opportunity to yell about how liberals are ruining the country; they would undoubtedly blame Obama – actually the entire Democratic party – for the video.  Dateline NBC would do a segment about the massive death count the video caused and provide tips to keep children safe from online predators, both human and ghostly.  Ironically, they would play the video multiple times throughout the segment.

So, logically, there are only two ways you could survive Samara’s curse.  You could unplug and tune out the Internet and sensationalist news channels, and essentially live under a rock until all the hype died down (probably in a week or so).  Or, you could join in on the digitized horror movie you’ve found yourself living in and make the best of it.  Just don’t forget how to survive.

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