Pack your bags, prepare for death — we’re going on vacation!

Now that we’re halfway through summer, if you haven’t taken a proper vacation, you may be suffering from cabin fever. But planning a last-minute getaway can prove challenging and pricey. So what to do when your options are limited but you’re in dire need of some time away? Whatever you do, do not follow in the footsteps of the poor souls in these ten movies who surely rethought their stay in that hostel, cabin, or camper.

1) Hostel Parts 1 and 2

I feel like it should go without saying that staying in a random hostel in a strange Eastern European city is probably not the brightest idea, but Eli Roth’s 2005 film and its 2007 sequel prove that college students will take their chances when it comes to things like that. The films are notorious in the torture porn category (there’s a moment involving a blow torch and a dangling eyeball) for being over-the-top gory and gruesome, but a lesson is to be learned: do not trust hot foreigners no matter how beautiful they may be. Sorry, boys.

2) The Human Centipede

What is there to say about this movie that hasn’t been said? There is an actual plot — two young American tourists in Germany (continuing with our theme) seek help with a flat tire while lost in some German woods. Unfortunately for them, they happen to seek help from the sickest guy in the entire world and, well, you know what happens next. This is one of the most controversial movies of all time (and admittedly the only movie I physically could not finish watching) but the lesson here is this: always have a working GPS, and a fully charged cell phone (hell, have two charged cell phones) and Godspeed to you.

3) Turistas

We have more young, beautiful backpackers seeking adventure in a foreign land and adventure is the least of what they discover. Their tour bus is in an accident on the way to the gorgeous beaches of Brazil when they encounter a group of locals who like to harvest organs from “gringos” and donate them to a hospital in Rio de Janeiro. The scenes involving the “harvesting” are gory yet clinical, and a futile attempt at escape finds them gasping for air in a cave that is flooding with water faster than they can swim. Forgetting sunscreen is the least of these tourists’ problems!

4) The Ruins

If you’re not already sensing a theme, where have you been? In 2008’s The Ruins, two young American couples vacationing in Mexico find themselves less interested in margaritas on the beach and more interested in exploring ancient Mayan pyramids. In the temple, they become trapped by villagers who are inexplicably afraid of the copious vines lining the ruins and the tourists quickly learn why — this is not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill shrubbery. These vines are looking to latch themselves to their victims with no plans of letting go. Maybe on your next trip, you should skip the ancient temple tour and stick to cocktails on the beach.

5) The Strangers

This 2008 thriller/slasher proves that getaways gone wrong are not reserved for foreign soil. A young couple stay in his parents’ summer home for a weekend away after a friend’s wedding, and they are there for a matter of hours when things go south. They are stalked relentlessly by a group wearing doll masks who have singled them out. When the female lead, played by Liv Tyler, bravely asks “why”, one of the doll people simply says, “because you were home.”  *shudder*

6) The Cabin in the Woods

As if staying at a cabin in the woods doesn’t already seem rife with disaster, this horror-comedy hybrid manages to satirize both beloved and campy horror trove alike. This 2012 movie is known as a game-changer for the horror genre, giving viewers a twist on an old and tired tale. Spoiler alert: young people are still the victims here and zombies are the least of their woes. You’ll maybe want to stay home and watch Netflix instead.

7) Cabin Fever

This 2002 film marks Eli Roth’s directorial debut, so you know the gore factor is at a high. Roth says he was inspired by classic ’80s slashers with this one, and yet again we see impressionable college students looking for some fun away from home. The twist here is that the killer is not human nor supernatural, but a flesh-eating disease that takes each student one by one. The moral of the story is that cabins are far less idyllic and quaint than they may seem.

8) The Hills Have Eyes

Horror maven Wes Craven (sorry, bad rhyme, had to!) is at the helm of this 1977 classic which spawned a remake in 2006. Both movies follow an American family stranded in the desert while on a road trip from Cleveland to California. They become trapped in a sick game by some deformed cave-dwellers in the mood for a little murder. The original was given an X rating, while the remake and sequels are a bit watered down, but all are worth watching. It’s not nice to judge a book by its cover, but these mutants are absolutely the exception to that rule. If you are on a road trip and see them, drive as fast as you can in the other direction, ’cause you’re in danger, girl.

9) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This ubiquitous horror series (and its remakes, sequels, and prequels) revolve around beautiful young people and a road trip gone haywire. While traveling through Texas, they find themselves under the grip of a backwoods family whose regular dinner fare includes humans, with one donning a mask made of skin. Yum! Perhaps flying to your destination is the better option?

10) Jaws

The granddaddy of them all, this is the summer beach franchise that scared legions of people from ever stepping foot near the ocean. The story is a simple one: over the Fourth of July weekend, near a tourist resort, a great white shark finds himself hungry and looking for his next meal, and beach goers learn the hard way that his appetite is unforgivably large. With just two opening chords (you know them, dun dun..) you too will fear the wrath of Jaws. It’s an undeniable classic that is loved by horror fans and non-horror fans alike and widely regarded as one of the best films ever created. Happy summer!

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